Wednesday, December 28, 2011

It's Time to Lose Weight--But How?

When you're losing weight and getting into shape, every morning you wake up feeling just a little bit skinnier. You pull on a pair of jeans you haven't worn in a few weeks and they slide on more easily (sometimes too easily in fact). Each time you walk up a flight of stairs, you feel a little stronger. Each time you meet someone you haven't seen in a while, you feel a new sense of security--you most likely look better than you did.

It's all enough to make you smile, make you feel a renewed sense of confidence. Every step you take towards getting healthy brings new rewards. I remember feeling downright amazing at 200 pounds (after I'd lost my first 40) because all of a sudden I had more energy, fit into normal sized clothing, and could climb on top of roofs (I mean that literally).

As we all know, gaining weight brings the opposite effects. Squishing yourself into too tight clothes is enough to bring on a temper tantrum. Seeing distant relatives/ friends who may notice your weight gain is enough to spoil a party. Flights of stairs and long walks can seem daunting. I could go on, but I think you get the gist.

From my recent posts, you can see which side of the spectrum I'm on. And no, it's not pleasant. Although (rationally) I know that being in the 160s is not the end of the world and I'm much lighter than my heaviest weight (240), it still doesn't feel good. So, I've resolved to take action--do something about this problem. At the very least, stop this weight gain in its tracks. And, hopefully, get back down to 150--a weight that I really enjoyed.

The question comes to mind: What do you need to lose weight? In the past, I needed specific foods and meals. Oatmeal in the morning. Beans and a tortilla for lunch. Cottage cheese with strawberries for a snack. And something vegetable heavy (like a stir fry or salad) for dinner. And of course Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. I needed water bottles, gym clothes (heck a gym membership) and no junk in the house. I needed an all-out battle plan.

And herein lies the problem. We have no money for these extra expenses, and one of Nathan and my favorite activities is to cook a meal together over a few glasses of wine. How do I incorporate that into my strict diet regimen? I don't even own a scale at the moment, so I'm not sure how to monitor my progress. And I can't afford a gym and it's crazy cold in Syracuse for running. In other words, how do I lose weight without having complete control over my food and exercise?

I know that it's certainly possible--I just need to find a new way of going about losing weight. I need to really and truly incorporate healthy habits into my lifestyle. If you have any tips, I'd love to hear them.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Admissions...A Few

I have something to admit, and it isn't pretty.

My size 8 jeans no longer fit. And the same goes for my size 8 dress and my size 8 black pants.

For some ungodly reason, I thought I had evolved past the days of outgrowing my clothing. I thought I had moved beyond the embarrassing (and potentially painful) moments of squeezing my stomach in order to zip my jeans. Or angling my face just so to avoid the double chin on camera. Or feeling my inner thighs bounce into each other when I walk naked in my apartment.

But, alas, it's true. I've gained weight. Fourteen pounds to be exact. The last time I weighed myself, I was hovering around 164. And since then, I've managed to eat half a batch of chocolate chip cookies and nearly a loaf of Nathan's delicious focaccia bread. Not to mention the chocolate chip pancakes I enjoyed this morning, smothered in syrup, or my coffee with cream with enough sugar to kill a diabetic. So, God only knows what my weight is right now.

Needless to say, I am not in anything close to diet mode right now. Nathan and I just moved into a brand new apartment in Syracuse, NY. Yup, you heard me right, I said Syracuse. Home of the snow, home of my alma mater, and home to a particularly obnoxious shade of orange that is plastered all throughout the city. Our apartment is completely empty, aside from a jumble of clothes and huge stacks of books.

The cats are going completely insane. Leo has decided, with a vengeance, that he hates the new apartment. So, he waits until 4am to wail as loudly as possible, while simultaneously attacking the air mattress. At night, we have been forced to lock him in the (big) closet--the only room in our apartment, besides the bathroom, with a door. During the day, he finds weird spots to hide (behind the fridge/ next to the litter box) and when you find him and plead with him to cheer up, he scowls at you. He's ready to trade his parents in, I can tell.

Fanny, my sweet yet clumsy cat, has taken to doing acrobatics in the middle of the night. She sprints across the entire apartment and then takes a running leap (roughly four and a half feet) onto the windowsill. Sometimes, she makes the jump and other times she crashes to the floor (usually on her head). Unlike her brother, she seems delighted with our empty, echoing apartment.

And Nathan and I? We're surviving. On the upside, I started my new job on Monday. I have to say it because I'm so damn proud. I am officially the Assistant Editor of CNY Woman, a magazine targeted towards woman in Central New York. We have our own place (no roommates!). Nathan has some great career prospects in management. And we're engaged to be married. We haven't set an official date yet, but we're thinking either a year from this coming May or a year from August.

On the downside, we are completely, flat-out broke, which means we're living on pasta, chicken, frozen vegetables, eggs, and whatever we can make with flour, sugar, baking soda, and yeast. We have no money for our two favorite vices--booze and cigarettes--which means that tensions are a (wee bit) high in the Katie/ Nathan household. We're also massively sleep deprived (thanks to Leo) and Nathan has begun criticizing my parenting skills. He insists that if I hadn't of coddled Leo, Leo wouldn't think he was a human, and wouldn't be having these temper tantrums in the middle of the night. I, on the other hand, believe that all Leo needs is some love and furniture to hide under and he'll be okay.

But then on the plus side, I'm in love, living with my favorite person in the whole world, who makes me chocolate chip pancakes before work.

So, I can tell that you're probably waiting for me to address this weight gain of 14 pounds. Well. I don't have much to say. I simply cannot diet right now. I can't afford it and I can't deal with any additional stress in my life. When things become more normal (i.e. we are not stressing about how to pay rent), I'll re-evaulate. But for the time being, it's not the most important part of my life. I still have to say that I haven't binged since last April--so that's nearly 8 months of being binge free. Pretty damn awesome, if I do say so myself.

But, one thing I am going to do is start walking to work. The walk is roughly 1.5 miles, so that means I'll be walking 3 miles a day. That's a good amount of exercise, and I think that it will help me maintain, as well as help me get back into shape.

Another goal that I want to work on is to STOP the FAT TALK. I hate that I've slipped back into calling myself names (disgusting/ hideous/ fat/ gross) and that needs to end. I wasn't any of those things when I weighed 240 pounds, and I'm certainly not now.

Do you struggle with "fat talk," and if so, how do you combat it?

It's Been a While--Bullet Updates

I seriously believe that you could write a novel about the past four months of my life. Well, if not an entire novel, at the very least a short story. But alas, I am busy and don't have much time.

So, to sum up, the following has occurred since my last (consistent post) in August:

-I hit my Weight Watchers goal weight

-I moved out of my apartment in Richmond and moved back home to my parents' house in Northern Virginia

-I lost my Weight Watchers goal weight (and am currently over 10 pounds heavier, grr...)

-I quit my job of two years and accepted a better paying job in DC.

-I fell in love.

-I quit my higher paying job.

-I got a new (lower paying job) in Richmond.

-I moved in with Nathan.

-I lost my lower paying job.

-I started working as a Freelance Writer.

-Nathan and I got engaged.

-Nathan and I moved to Buffalo, NY to look for better jobs and live with my extended family.

-I landed my dream job, Assistant Editor of a magazine, in Syracuse, NY

-We found an apartment in Syracuse NY

-We moved into the new apartment and I started my job.

-Nathan got an interview for his dream job.

...And that's where I am right now.

I'm debating about starting another blog. Please let me know if you think I should continue with this current blog or start something fresh. I appreciate feedback =)