Stopping the Excuses

I cannot seem to find the motivation to exercise. I know that exercise has many great side effects, and I'd like to be one of those people who casually mentions their yoga class, half marathon or hiking adventures in social situations. But I am not there yet.

I believe that most of the problem lies in time. Every workday is packed to the rim with work and family. By the time I get even half an hour to myself, it's 9:30-10pm, and I'm totally bushed. All I want to do is creep into bed, grab a book (if I have the energy) and go to sleep. Waking up earlier than 7:30 is out of the question these days, since I can't seem to wake up even when I set an alarm.

Of course, the more hard-minded of you will tell me that I'm just making excuses. Anyone (no matter how busy) can find time to exercise, you will, rightly, say. You'll ask me if I have time to take a shower, write a blog post, eat dinner, watch the new season of Orange is the New Black, and I'll reluctantly agree. I may get hostile, but you will have won the argument--it's not just a matter of time.

It's honestly because I don't enjoy exercise. I don't like gym classes, the mere mention of a hike gives me anxiety, and working out on a treadmill/elliptical is dull (no matter how awesome the musical track is). If I liked exercising as much as say reading or dress shopping, I'd find a way to fit it into my busy schedule. But because I don't like it, I make excuses.

The simple solution to my problem is to find something I enjoy. There must be some physical activity that I like to do on a regular basis (without counting sex). I like dancing, so maybe I should take a dance class? I like shopping, so maybe walking around the mall would work? I like canoeing and swimming, so maybe that is a good idea?

Just like with my diet, it doesn't make sense to start an exercise routine that I have no desire to maintain in the long-term. I like the way I'm eating now, so I just need to find a way to move more. I'll have to think about it some, but for now, my goal is to do a Zumba exercise DVD that a friend lent me. My goal is to do the Zumba workout before my meeting on Tuesday morning. Does that sound realistic to you?

Oh and by the way, I was down over 2 pounds last week, making me hit my 10% and reach 180.4.

Happy Thursday everyone :)

Weight loss so far

Week 1: 200.6

Week 2: 196.8

Week 3: 194.4

Week 4: 191.4

Week 5: 190.4

Week 6: 189.8

Week 7: 187

Week 8: 186.4

Week 9:: 185

Week 10: 183

So far, so good. I've been losing at a reasonable rate--aside from my first month where I was seeing a few 3+ pound losses. Lately, a big loss is 2, and a more typical loss is 1 pound. In 9 weeks, I've lost about 17 pounds and I can definitely feel it in my energy levels. Even without exercising much, I feel like it's easier to be active when I'm carrying around less weight. My clothes are fitting better too. I've gone down from a size 16 to size 14 and I'm looking forward to fitting into a size 12 again (I feel like that will happen once I'm back in the low 170s.)

Notice that I say it "will happen." I have no doubts that I can lose the weight. It may take a while, but I'm pretty happy being in the 180s, so I'm content to go slowly. They say that the slower it takes to lose it, the easier it stays off. Honestly, I think the longer you keep it off, the easier it is to stay off, but whatever, the two are intertwined. 

Anyhow, things are going well, other than the fact that I feel like I'm out of my writing groove. My writing has been sucking lately and it's getting on my nerves. My goal this week is to exercise three times, so without further ado, here is my exercise plan:

Tuesday: nothing

Wednesday: nothing (forgot my gym bag and I have a late meeting)

Thursday: 7:30 am appointment at Curves for a free consultation (30 minutes)

Friday: workout after work. 20 minutes on elliptical, 10 minutes on the treadmill (4-4.5). 3 sets of 10 reps for biceps, 30 sit ups.

Saturday: Rest

Sunday: Zumba video

Monday: Workout in the AM before work, 20 minutes on elliptical, 10 minutes on the treadmill (4-4.5). 3 sets of 10 reps for biceps, 30 sit ups.

Wish me luck!

A few thoughts

First of all, I want to address the elephant in this (albeit empty) metaphorical room: I have gotten boring and middle aged. 

I used to gossip about the multiple guys I was dating; now I regale you with stories about babies. I used to have a dramatic weight loss story (losing 90+ pounds) and now my weight loss goals are more modest. I used to drink a bottle of wine on an average Friday night, and now it's more like a glass. And so on.

And I know that, despite my new-found dullness, you're happy for me. Katie has grown up, you might think, and then you click to another page. Because unfortunately grown-up Katie is not nearly as interesting as crazy Katie. And you may be right. 

However, as interesting as my debauchery and dysfunction is to write about, it's more fun to be living a more stable life. I have fought, plotted, and tricked myself into turning into a "responsible" adult. As soon as the stick turned blue, that was it. I realized we needed all sorts of things. And so Nathan and I got serious about becoming conventional and we got all those annoying things--silverware, kitchen utensils, a backyard, a house, health care, etc. And now that we have two kids, we have things for them to destroy, haha.

Weight loss this time around is like fitting into an old soft t-shirt. I'm back down to 185--just 30ish pounds from my goal weight and some of my pre-pregnancy clothes are starting to fit again. It's wonderful, to say the least. Yes, I know that I still have a ways to go. And yes, I admit I did look up some bizarre "ketosis" diet at work today that promised a weight loss of 7 pounds a week. But I'm not going to bite. Fast weight loss is hardly weight loss at all. It's just a temporary high. I'm content with losing one pound a week, if it means that in 6-7 months, I'll truly have lost the weight. And if it's too painful to get to 150, I'll stop at 160 or wherever feels good. I'm not anxious to get to some arbitrary number--I just want to be happy in my own skin. 

Sunday Mornings

Weekend mornings with two babies under the age of two is fun, if not a lot a work :)

Caroline woke up first, as usual, at about 7:30, which wasn't so bad. Nathan and I went downstairs and divided and conquered--he made coffee and I fed Caroline a bottle. Then we hung out, drank coffee, watched a bizarre parade on television, and fed Caroline her breakfast--half a mushed banana and some rice cereal. Pretty soon, Caroline was ready for her morning nap and I went upstairs and folded some laundry, while Nathan straightened up the downstairs.

Then, I got hungry and made some oatmeal. I figured Olivia would be up soon so I made two servings of creamy banana oatmeal. If you're interested, the recipe is 3/4 cup oats, 1 cup water, 1/2 cup milk, a banana and a half, 2 tablespoons of raisins, and a dash of vanilla (7 points a serving) and Olivia loved it. She got oatmeal everywhere--in her hair, on her face, all over the high chair, but she had a blast.

Meanwhile, we are trying to sell our king-sized mattress from the guest room (because we just turned that into Caroline's bedroom). So the box springs were propped up in the dining room. My cat Fanny couldn't resist attacking them and they plopped on the dining room table, starting both Olivia and myself. Fanny, the little devil, ran away, and then Caroline woke up (of course).

So now we are all hanging out in the living room. Both babies are now in their diapers, playing on the floor. Olivia is going from place to place, knocking things over (not the box springs, thankfully). Nathan is playing a video game and Caroline is on her tummy, rolling back and forth over the blankets, while keeping her eyes glued on Olivia.

I'm trying to work up the energy to look for my computer charger, make a grocery list, and get in some much needed exercise for the day. I am quite proud of myself this week, because I haven't touched any of my Weekly Points. On the other hand, my exercise has been non-existent. People are starting to comment on my weight loss so far (just about 10 pounds since WW but about 45 pounds since being pregnant with Caroline).

Now, Olivia is trying to yank to cord out of the tv, so I'm going to grab her. Happy Sunday everyone.

Weekly Weigh In

The verdict for this week (week 5 of restarting Weight Watchers) is down 0.6. 

Here is a recap of my weigh ins so far:

Week 1: 200.6

Week 2: 196.8

Week 3: 194.4

Week 4: 191.4

Week 5: 190.4

Week 6: 189.8

Total Loss: 10.8

Thoughts? Not bad so far. I definitely feel ten pounds lighter, and that's awesome. Yesterday, I chased Olivia around the kitchen and I didn't feel winded at all. And over the weekend, I helped Nathan move the king size bed out of the guest room and I felt stronger than I used to. My clothing size has dropped from a 16/extra large to a size 14/large.

Overall, I'm really satisfied with what I'm eating--except for my work lunches. I've been buying flat out wraps and filling them with turkey, cheese and hummus, but they are both not tasty and not filling. I need to find new ideas for lunches, and I'd like to eat more vegetables with lunch, as well. Any thoughts? Maybe a homemade turkey chili or white bean/chicken chili. 

This week will be a new challenge because I've stopped breastfeeding and I'm going down to 30 points a day. I'll have to make some adjustments to my menu to make that work. Also, I really lagged on the workouts last week, only getting in one "real" workout of 30 minutes on the elliptical. The other workout involved heavy duty cleaning for three hours. 

I've noticed that saying I'm going to workout three times doesn't seem to do a lot of good. I find ways to avoid working out, thinking I'll work out the next day, until it's Monday evening and it's impossible to catch up. I need to schedule my workouts like appointments with myself and actually keep them.

Plan for this week:

Tuesday: Work out at home with Nathan after work for 30 minutes

Wednesday: Work out in the gym downstairs

Thursday: Out of town for work

Friday: Out of town for work

Saturday: Workout tape in the AM

Sunday: Rest/Clean

Monday: Work out in the gym downstairs

Other goals:

1. Drink more water. Drink 5 glasses of water a day.

2. Do not skip meals. Ever. (I've been doing that pretty frequently for the past week or so)

3. Eat a fruit and/or vegetable with every meal.

Hope everyone is having a good Tuesday!

Well...Hello Again

Hello again. It's been more than two years and I'm just now getting back to my blog. How I've missed it! I forgot how wonderful it was to share with a community of people, ramble freely about the stuff in my head, and have a place to write (and a group to write to!).

Is it too late? Do I need to start a new blog?

We shall see. In the meantime, let me fill you in. Nathan and I got married in August 2012, and we had a baby in January 2013. Her name is Olivia and she continually amazes me. And then when we were just adjusting to having one baby, we had another. Her name is Caroline and she is incredibly sweet. We are living and working in Woodbridge, VA--a town infinitely less cool than my old Richmond haunt. But oh well. We have a three-bedroom townhouse and a washer and dryer. And with two children under the age of two, we don't get out much anyhow.

Life is radically different for me with a husband and kids, and yet it isn't. I still watch Gilmore Girls (whenever I can steal the remote from Nathan), I still cuddle my two cats, and I still enjoy my ice cream and wine. Life is good. Nathan and I still manage to go out every so often to hear music and grab a few gin and tonics, but mostly we like to stay in and enjoy the fun (and insanity) of our two girls.

So, getting down to the business of weight loss. Somehow, despite two pregnancies, I never reached my highest weight of 240. With Caroline (my gigantic 9-pounder) I reached a peak pregnancy weight of 232. Five months later, I am doing Weight Watchers and am back at 190. I still have 30-40 pounds to lose. I'm aiming for 160 this time, but we shall see. There is no rush to lose the weight, and I'm going to strive to do this WW thing the right way--e.g., incorporate exercise, eat all my points, and get in my Good Health Guidelines. I've come to the realization that my weight loss journey may never end, and I'm okay with that.

Also, I added some photos on the Photos Page of my blog :)

Let's just say...

I've calmed down from seeing the weight gain.

On one hand, I'm actually relieved. For a while I was feeling like I was back to my original weight, and Nathan kept telling me I was crazy. Now, I have proof that I'm still nearly 60 pounds lower from where I started out. So, that's a good thing.

I think Jess' comment was spot-on yesterday. And it really made me feel so much better. Yes, I've gained weight, but there are so many other good things happening in my life. From getting engaged to Nathan to finding a job working for a magazine, I have a lot going for me this spring. And while 183 (ugh) is not a pretty weight, I know that I can still rock a cute pair of jeans and heels.

So now what? The most important thing I need to do is to take life one day at a time. I'm going to focus on eating healthier and getting back into the swing of exercise. I'm going to (try) to choose fresh fruit over ice cream and overall make lighter choices if I can. At the moment, I'm unsure if I want to charge full-on into WW or if I want to continue my pursuit of Intuitive Eating.

On one hand, I'm frightened by how quickly I put back on weight. On the other hand, my weight gain seems to indicate that the way I followed WW is not a real lifestyle change for me.

As uncomfortable as I feel in my clothes, I do not begrudge the pancakes Nathan made me smothered in love and warmth. Or the cheese and crackers with wine we enjoyed, oh so many evenings. Or the ice cream we enjoyed straight out of the container in bed. It's been a terrific winter. And I don't feel bad about the love-filled food I enjoyed.

On the other hand, spring is coming. And I'm sure there are many more healthy ways to enjoy life, such as resuming my thrice-weekly runs, getting back into seasonal fruit, and basically returning to a more balanced diet.

I hope you have a great weekend.