Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Jillian Michaels is Evil
Just because I don't weigh 400 pounds does not mean I can do a minute of push-ups followed by a minute of jumping jacks. For those of you who are familiar with 30 Day Shred and Jillian Michaels, these words should sound familiar to you. Perhaps even grating. Every time Jillian challenged me to push myself by comparing me to contestants on The Biggest Loser, I thought two things--one, "What if I weighed more than 400 pounds?" And two, "Fine, maybe I am lazier and weaker than 400 pound people." And then I wanted a strawberry milkshake pronto.
I am not the kind of person who benefits from tough criticism. I need uplifting, Disney-esque motivation--more along the lines of exaggerated praise for getting my ass off the couch and doing something. Even if it's just going for a five minute walk. The last thing I need is to be berated by a very angry looking woman and mocked for being less in shape than some mythical 500 pound person. It's not good for the soul.
But, thankfully, I did not let my negative reaction to 30 Day Shred keep me from working out. Drum roll please, I have started jogging again. I jogged (on the treadmill) last Thursday and this past Monday. And I jogged outside yesterday. Granted, I'm jogging a mile and a half as opposed to the 3 miles that I was doing in November, but I feel confident that I can work my way up to that distance fairly quickly.
It's completely bizarre that at this period in my life I actually like jogging. I used to dread it more than anything, and I'd use every excuse I could concoct to get out of mandatory runs in gym class. But now that there's no pressure to jog in front of others, I have started to appreciate the activity. Here are my four reasons:
1. It's immensely efficient. You can spend 23 1/2 hours of the day being lazy, but if you jog for a half hour people will think you're an "active" person.
2. It's possible to forget your pain. After the first five to ten minutes of a jog, sometimes you get into a groove, the endorphins pump through your blood stream, and you get this confident high that tells you this false assertion: "I could do this FOREVER." Of course, that's not remotely true, but it does help you get through the time.
3. It burns a lot of calories. 'Nuff said.
4. It requires little to no coordination. You don't have to follow an instructor's moves or practice a flexible pose; all you have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.
So, now that I have officially convinced you all to buy running gear and shun Jillian Michaels (just kidding!), I will proceed with the really important part of this post--you get to see my handwriting. I was tagged by my friend Emily, in her blog Emilina Sassperina to take a handwriting quiz. I will admit that it took me several attempts to complete the quiz because I am super self-conscious about my handwriting and I don't have a decent camera. Thankfully, a friend lent me his iPhone and I was able to take a fairly clear photo...haha.
The rules of the game:
1. Write your name & blog name
2. URL
3. Write, “A quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog!”
4. Favorite quote
5. Favorite song
6. Favorite bands/singers
7. Anything you want to say
8. Tag some other bloggers!
Hopefully, you can read my artistic (read: cramped and scratchy) handwriting, haha. Hey, it's got personality, right ;)
Anyway, I weigh in tomorrow and I can honestly say that I'm excited to weigh in. I've followed the plan, with WPs to spare, and I'm hoping for my first official loss in months. I'll let you know of the verdict tomorrow. Happy hump day everyone!
I am not the kind of person who benefits from tough criticism. I need uplifting, Disney-esque motivation--more along the lines of exaggerated praise for getting my ass off the couch and doing something. Even if it's just going for a five minute walk. The last thing I need is to be berated by a very angry looking woman and mocked for being less in shape than some mythical 500 pound person. It's not good for the soul.
But, thankfully, I did not let my negative reaction to 30 Day Shred keep me from working out. Drum roll please, I have started jogging again. I jogged (on the treadmill) last Thursday and this past Monday. And I jogged outside yesterday. Granted, I'm jogging a mile and a half as opposed to the 3 miles that I was doing in November, but I feel confident that I can work my way up to that distance fairly quickly.
It's completely bizarre that at this period in my life I actually like jogging. I used to dread it more than anything, and I'd use every excuse I could concoct to get out of mandatory runs in gym class. But now that there's no pressure to jog in front of others, I have started to appreciate the activity. Here are my four reasons:
1. It's immensely efficient. You can spend 23 1/2 hours of the day being lazy, but if you jog for a half hour people will think you're an "active" person.
2. It's possible to forget your pain. After the first five to ten minutes of a jog, sometimes you get into a groove, the endorphins pump through your blood stream, and you get this confident high that tells you this false assertion: "I could do this FOREVER." Of course, that's not remotely true, but it does help you get through the time.
3. It burns a lot of calories. 'Nuff said.
4. It requires little to no coordination. You don't have to follow an instructor's moves or practice a flexible pose; all you have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.
So, now that I have officially convinced you all to buy running gear and shun Jillian Michaels (just kidding!), I will proceed with the really important part of this post--you get to see my handwriting. I was tagged by my friend Emily, in her blog Emilina Sassperina to take a handwriting quiz. I will admit that it took me several attempts to complete the quiz because I am super self-conscious about my handwriting and I don't have a decent camera. Thankfully, a friend lent me his iPhone and I was able to take a fairly clear photo...haha.
The rules of the game:
1. Write your name & blog name
2. URL
3. Write, “A quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog!”
4. Favorite quote
5. Favorite song
6. Favorite bands/singers
7. Anything you want to say
8. Tag some other bloggers!
Hopefully, you can read my artistic (read: cramped and scratchy) handwriting, haha. Hey, it's got personality, right ;)Anyway, I weigh in tomorrow and I can honestly say that I'm excited to weigh in. I've followed the plan, with WPs to spare, and I'm hoping for my first official loss in months. I'll let you know of the verdict tomorrow. Happy hump day everyone!
Monday, March 28, 2011
It's Not Just Physical
When I was a kid, I used to organize expeditions into the attack to look for snakes and rats. I made up stories about my mom’s dead ancestors. I organized plays and convinced my younger, impressionable sisters to dress up AND convinced my parents to not only sit through the long, boring, debacles but also pay for the price of admission. I was powerful, the eldest of four, and I was confident.
Somehow, in the past 15 years, I have changed from the domineering, powerhouse of a kid into an agreeable, semi-charming adult who is more concerned about saying the right thing than doing what comes more naturally to me—being a leader. Somewhere along the way, I lost my confidence. Maybe it was in fifth grade, when I wore my blond hair so long it obscured my face. Maybe it was in eighth grade when I gained 20 pounds and got glasses. Maybe it was in high school when I wore high-waisted jeans and was too shy to speak up in history class. Or maybe it was in college, when some guys made fun of me for gaining the freshmen 15 (or 30, as it happened to be in my case).
Lately, as I’ve lost weight, I’ve started to let my inherent bossiness slip out. Now that I’m no longer obscured by 60 pounds, I don’t feel the need to apologize for my bigness or charm people into liking me. I’m sharper, edgier, and more assertive about what I want and need. The other night, I was talking to this guy that I used to like, and I was telling him about my childhood. All of a sudden, he remarked that I was much different now than I was last year. He asked if I was from New York (I’m not—but my parents are), and then he remarked that, for the first time, he could see my real personality--I was a strong, independent person. And surprise, surprise, he much preferred my real, more assertive self. He respected me more for speaking up.
In the past, I’ve always prided myself on being an open, social person, but the truth is, I wasn’t being that open: I was often trying to portray an image that I thought people would like—the agreeable, ditsy Katie. That’s not to say that I’m not naturally agreeable or ditsy, but I am also strong. And that’s something that I’m going to try to show, from now on.
In a way, shedding this weight and being closer to my “natural” body has helped me to be my “natural” self as well. I never thought this would happen. I thought the excess weight was mostly superficial, but in the end it had (perhaps more significant) effects on my personality. Can anyone relate to this? For those who have lost a significant amount of weight, have you noticed that losing the weight helped you to become your "true" self?
Somehow, in the past 15 years, I have changed from the domineering, powerhouse of a kid into an agreeable, semi-charming adult who is more concerned about saying the right thing than doing what comes more naturally to me—being a leader. Somewhere along the way, I lost my confidence. Maybe it was in fifth grade, when I wore my blond hair so long it obscured my face. Maybe it was in eighth grade when I gained 20 pounds and got glasses. Maybe it was in high school when I wore high-waisted jeans and was too shy to speak up in history class. Or maybe it was in college, when some guys made fun of me for gaining the freshmen 15 (or 30, as it happened to be in my case).
Lately, as I’ve lost weight, I’ve started to let my inherent bossiness slip out. Now that I’m no longer obscured by 60 pounds, I don’t feel the need to apologize for my bigness or charm people into liking me. I’m sharper, edgier, and more assertive about what I want and need. The other night, I was talking to this guy that I used to like, and I was telling him about my childhood. All of a sudden, he remarked that I was much different now than I was last year. He asked if I was from New York (I’m not—but my parents are), and then he remarked that, for the first time, he could see my real personality--I was a strong, independent person. And surprise, surprise, he much preferred my real, more assertive self. He respected me more for speaking up.
In the past, I’ve always prided myself on being an open, social person, but the truth is, I wasn’t being that open: I was often trying to portray an image that I thought people would like—the agreeable, ditsy Katie. That’s not to say that I’m not naturally agreeable or ditsy, but I am also strong. And that’s something that I’m going to try to show, from now on.
In a way, shedding this weight and being closer to my “natural” body has helped me to be my “natural” self as well. I never thought this would happen. I thought the excess weight was mostly superficial, but in the end it had (perhaps more significant) effects on my personality. Can anyone relate to this? For those who have lost a significant amount of weight, have you noticed that losing the weight helped you to become your "true" self?
Friday, March 25, 2011
Weight Watchers Anniversary
I have been cautioned by more sophisticated bloggers that no one reads blogs on Fridays. As a result, I've used that as an excuse to justify slacking off on Fridays (haha, and sometimes Thursdays as well) because I figure I might as well just write a post on Monday, when everyone is back at work, looking to procrastinate by reading a mildly entertaining blog.
However, I just realized that today, March 25th, marks my one year anniversary of joining Weight Watchers. One year ago, today, I impulsively decided to go to a Weight Watchers meeting. I bravely stepped on the scale (in heavy dress pants, no less) and started the journey that has brought me to where I am now--exactly 60 pounds lighter. I remember looking at the 240 number and wondering desperately how on earth I would ever reach a healthy weight of 150 pounds. I thought fleetingly that it might take an entire year or longer.
At the time, admitting that I had dug myself in a hole that might take a few years to dig myself out of depressed me. I was angry at myself for gaining so much weight that you couldn’t possibly lose in a short period of time. But my weight watcher leader said something that day that stuck with me. She said, “The year’s going to go by anyway. So you have two options—either you can start making changes now or you can start later. What’s it going to be?”
I made the decision, right then and there, to start my weight loss journey, so that, in a year, I would have made some progress. And I am happy to report that one year later, I am not in the same boat I was in last March. I’ve lost 60 pounds and I’ve taken great strides to making real life changes. In the past year, I ran a 5K, fit back into a size 12, and learned how to cook some healthy meals. I am not in the same place I was last March.
Of course, that is not to say that I have reached all of my goals. It seems fitting that on my year anniversary, I would recommit to Weight Watchers. The time is going to go by, whether I like it or not, so it’s up to me to decide to make changes and finally reach my goal of being a healthy weight by next March. I have exactly 30 pounds to lose, and there’s 52 weeks in a year. Even if I lose weight VERY slowly, I should hit 150 by next March.
So, in the spirit of recommitting, yesterday, for the first time in a while, I went to the gym and jogged on the treadmill. For some reason, I expected to start out where I was when I first started, walking at 3.5. But I surprised myself, by being able to jog at 5.0 mph (12 minute miles) for the majority of the 35 minutes. I even got up to 6.0 mph for a minute or two. My lungs felt fine, although my legs are definitely feeling the workout today. I have counted points for the last two days and stayed within my allotted 29 DPs.
I know I can do this. I just need to take it one day at a time.
However, I just realized that today, March 25th, marks my one year anniversary of joining Weight Watchers. One year ago, today, I impulsively decided to go to a Weight Watchers meeting. I bravely stepped on the scale (in heavy dress pants, no less) and started the journey that has brought me to where I am now--exactly 60 pounds lighter. I remember looking at the 240 number and wondering desperately how on earth I would ever reach a healthy weight of 150 pounds. I thought fleetingly that it might take an entire year or longer.
At the time, admitting that I had dug myself in a hole that might take a few years to dig myself out of depressed me. I was angry at myself for gaining so much weight that you couldn’t possibly lose in a short period of time. But my weight watcher leader said something that day that stuck with me. She said, “The year’s going to go by anyway. So you have two options—either you can start making changes now or you can start later. What’s it going to be?”
I made the decision, right then and there, to start my weight loss journey, so that, in a year, I would have made some progress. And I am happy to report that one year later, I am not in the same boat I was in last March. I’ve lost 60 pounds and I’ve taken great strides to making real life changes. In the past year, I ran a 5K, fit back into a size 12, and learned how to cook some healthy meals. I am not in the same place I was last March.
Of course, that is not to say that I have reached all of my goals. It seems fitting that on my year anniversary, I would recommit to Weight Watchers. The time is going to go by, whether I like it or not, so it’s up to me to decide to make changes and finally reach my goal of being a healthy weight by next March. I have exactly 30 pounds to lose, and there’s 52 weeks in a year. Even if I lose weight VERY slowly, I should hit 150 by next March.
So, in the spirit of recommitting, yesterday, for the first time in a while, I went to the gym and jogged on the treadmill. For some reason, I expected to start out where I was when I first started, walking at 3.5. But I surprised myself, by being able to jog at 5.0 mph (12 minute miles) for the majority of the 35 minutes. I even got up to 6.0 mph for a minute or two. My lungs felt fine, although my legs are definitely feeling the workout today. I have counted points for the last two days and stayed within my allotted 29 DPs.
I know I can do this. I just need to take it one day at a time.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Not Quite Carrie Bradshaw
Sometimes I dream of becoming a successful freelance writer--the kind of writer who gets to sleep in, write articles in pajamas, and stay out in bars until the wee hours of the morning. Kind of like a non-smoker Carrie Bradshaw.
But then reality hits. On Monday, I went home from work early with a headache and slight fever. I went home, took probably a dangerous combination of Advil and cold medicine, and hunkered down on the couch to watch countless episodes of West Wing (see, I sometimes switch things up). I woke up the next morning, with a Benedryl hangover and a sore throat, and decided to take the day off to recuperate.
Instead of doing anything remotely productive, I once again pulled on my sweat pants, and decided to spend the morning mindlessly watching television and ignoring the sunlight streaming through my closed blinds. The longer I sat in my dirty living room, watching actors pretend to deal with political crisis, the worse I felt about myself. I ate my typical breakfast, oatmeal and melted banana, and then ate a large lunch--a wrap with refried beans, ground turkey, and sour cream--when I wasn't quite hungry, because, let's be honest, watching television and lying on the couch doesn't exactly work up one's appetite.
That's when things started to go horribly wrong. I had bought these 4 point WW ice cream cups the day before, and all of a sudden I decided that an ice cream would be the perfect compliment to my meal. I justified it by telling myself I'd just have a lighter dinner. So, I grabbed an ice cream cup and ate it in about 30 seconds. By this point, I was starting to feel pretty full. And a little guilty. I wish that I could have stopped then, pulled myself out of my funk, taken a shower, put on some real clothes (aka, something non-elastic) and left the situation. But instead, I grabbed another ice cream cup and gobbled the whole thing down before I had a chance to think about what I was doing.
The whole thing went downhill from there. At one point, I found myself in my messy kitchen, carelessly throwing flour, butter, brown sugar, and eggs in a mixing bowl, making a disgusting, fattening combination that I could guiltily eat in front of the television. In order to balance sweet with salty, I made broiled english muffins with cheddar. I ate until my stomach felt like a block of wood. I ate until I figured one more bite would make me throw up. I ate until I wanted to cry. As I sat in the living room, I tried to avoid my reflection in the glass doors of the entertainment center. I tried to ignore my chubby arms, the emerging double chin. I ignored every phone call and text I received. What was I going to tell people? I'm alone, eating in my apartment, drowning in self pity, hiding from the world? Nah, I figured avoiding all contact with the outside world was my best bet.
Of course, eventually the day ended, and I went to sleep in a stuffed stupor. The next morning, I woke up, got dressed (I miraculously still fit in my work clothes), drove to work and instantly everything returned to normal. I resumed my normal day of checking e-mails, working, and eating my normal meals. The crisis lifted and I couldn't quite remember what compelled me to eat all of my limited groceries. No one at work noticed that I had gained 60 pounds overnight.
So, to sum up, I'm not sure if the life of a freelance writer is for me. As much as I resent waking up early and going to work, I have to admit, my job is probably the reason I'm not 300+ pounds right now. Having a routine and schedule may well be my saving grace. I envy people with the discipline and self control not to spend their entire days at home prostrate on the sofa with a bag of oreos. But I'm willing to admit (for the moment, at least) that I'm not one of them.
But then reality hits. On Monday, I went home from work early with a headache and slight fever. I went home, took probably a dangerous combination of Advil and cold medicine, and hunkered down on the couch to watch countless episodes of West Wing (see, I sometimes switch things up). I woke up the next morning, with a Benedryl hangover and a sore throat, and decided to take the day off to recuperate.
Instead of doing anything remotely productive, I once again pulled on my sweat pants, and decided to spend the morning mindlessly watching television and ignoring the sunlight streaming through my closed blinds. The longer I sat in my dirty living room, watching actors pretend to deal with political crisis, the worse I felt about myself. I ate my typical breakfast, oatmeal and melted banana, and then ate a large lunch--a wrap with refried beans, ground turkey, and sour cream--when I wasn't quite hungry, because, let's be honest, watching television and lying on the couch doesn't exactly work up one's appetite.
That's when things started to go horribly wrong. I had bought these 4 point WW ice cream cups the day before, and all of a sudden I decided that an ice cream would be the perfect compliment to my meal. I justified it by telling myself I'd just have a lighter dinner. So, I grabbed an ice cream cup and ate it in about 30 seconds. By this point, I was starting to feel pretty full. And a little guilty. I wish that I could have stopped then, pulled myself out of my funk, taken a shower, put on some real clothes (aka, something non-elastic) and left the situation. But instead, I grabbed another ice cream cup and gobbled the whole thing down before I had a chance to think about what I was doing.
The whole thing went downhill from there. At one point, I found myself in my messy kitchen, carelessly throwing flour, butter, brown sugar, and eggs in a mixing bowl, making a disgusting, fattening combination that I could guiltily eat in front of the television. In order to balance sweet with salty, I made broiled english muffins with cheddar. I ate until my stomach felt like a block of wood. I ate until I figured one more bite would make me throw up. I ate until I wanted to cry. As I sat in the living room, I tried to avoid my reflection in the glass doors of the entertainment center. I tried to ignore my chubby arms, the emerging double chin. I ignored every phone call and text I received. What was I going to tell people? I'm alone, eating in my apartment, drowning in self pity, hiding from the world? Nah, I figured avoiding all contact with the outside world was my best bet.
Of course, eventually the day ended, and I went to sleep in a stuffed stupor. The next morning, I woke up, got dressed (I miraculously still fit in my work clothes), drove to work and instantly everything returned to normal. I resumed my normal day of checking e-mails, working, and eating my normal meals. The crisis lifted and I couldn't quite remember what compelled me to eat all of my limited groceries. No one at work noticed that I had gained 60 pounds overnight.
So, to sum up, I'm not sure if the life of a freelance writer is for me. As much as I resent waking up early and going to work, I have to admit, my job is probably the reason I'm not 300+ pounds right now. Having a routine and schedule may well be my saving grace. I envy people with the discipline and self control not to spend their entire days at home prostrate on the sofa with a bag of oreos. But I'm willing to admit (for the moment, at least) that I'm not one of them.
Monday, March 21, 2011
It's Official...
So, I've been waiting to announce this news until I was 100% sure that it was true, and here it is--I am back on Weight Watchers, officially! I went back to the meeting on Thursday afternoon, weighed in, got a fresh book, and I feel much better.
I weighed in at 179, roughly five-seven pounds higher than my usual weigh-ins at home. Then again, I was wearing clothes, had eaten breakfast, and had consumed massive amounts of salty food the previous day. In spite of all this, however, I still weighed one pound less than my last WW weigh in in February, which means that I successfully managed to maintain in the six week stretch when I did WW at home. That's a huge accomplishment for me, as I've typically gained all the weight back plus extra, when I've gone off WW.
Of course, knowing me, I was hoping for a loss =)
However, I've tracked every day since starting WW and I have noticed a few great things about being on plan. One, tracking points really helped me to overcome "splurge" guilt. For instance, I drank way too much on St. Paddy's Day--three vodka red bulls and two gin and tonics. When I woke up the next morning, I felt really guilty--as if I had killed my entire week on the first day of being on plan. But then I tracked my points and realized that although I had consumed too many points, I still had WPs to spare. I was still, in fact, on plan. And just knowing that I hadn't wrecked my week helped me to get back on track the following day.
Another great thing about being on WW is that I can stop obsessing about the accuracy of my scale. I weighed in at 179, so I can confidently say that I've lost 61 pounds since starting the program, haha. I don't have to round or add a disclaimer about my flawed scale =)
And finally, getting involved in WW has helped me to refocus and re-evaluate my food choices all over again. Now, instead of just having a hazy idea that ground turkey is better than ground beef, I can see it numerically and know that if I choose the pointier option, I'll have to forgo eating something else. It's all just common sense really. However, having the plan in place really helps me to make good decisions.
Anyway, I'm back on the plan. My weigh-in days are now on Thursday, and I will be working towards reaching my 5% goal, which is 9 pounds =)
I weighed in at 179, roughly five-seven pounds higher than my usual weigh-ins at home. Then again, I was wearing clothes, had eaten breakfast, and had consumed massive amounts of salty food the previous day. In spite of all this, however, I still weighed one pound less than my last WW weigh in in February, which means that I successfully managed to maintain in the six week stretch when I did WW at home. That's a huge accomplishment for me, as I've typically gained all the weight back plus extra, when I've gone off WW.
Of course, knowing me, I was hoping for a loss =)
However, I've tracked every day since starting WW and I have noticed a few great things about being on plan. One, tracking points really helped me to overcome "splurge" guilt. For instance, I drank way too much on St. Paddy's Day--three vodka red bulls and two gin and tonics. When I woke up the next morning, I felt really guilty--as if I had killed my entire week on the first day of being on plan. But then I tracked my points and realized that although I had consumed too many points, I still had WPs to spare. I was still, in fact, on plan. And just knowing that I hadn't wrecked my week helped me to get back on track the following day.
Another great thing about being on WW is that I can stop obsessing about the accuracy of my scale. I weighed in at 179, so I can confidently say that I've lost 61 pounds since starting the program, haha. I don't have to round or add a disclaimer about my flawed scale =)
And finally, getting involved in WW has helped me to refocus and re-evaluate my food choices all over again. Now, instead of just having a hazy idea that ground turkey is better than ground beef, I can see it numerically and know that if I choose the pointier option, I'll have to forgo eating something else. It's all just common sense really. However, having the plan in place really helps me to make good decisions.
Anyway, I'm back on the plan. My weigh-in days are now on Thursday, and I will be working towards reaching my 5% goal, which is 9 pounds =)
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