Beth, from Beth's Journey, brought my attention to this fantastic blog yesterday morning, Can You Stay for Dinner, by Andrea Mitchell, a 26-year-old foodie, who has successfully lost and maintained 135 pounds. I'm really excited to share this passage from her blog:
"I read a lot of weight loss stories. I’m always interested to see how others have gone about their journey. More than the path they chose and the foods they ate, I’m looking to see introspection. Not the diet, not the will power, not the tips. I want to know the ‘why.’ Because at the end of the day that is the only question that matters."
Andrea eloquently and simply summed up exactly what I've been pondering lately: Why did I get so overweight in the first place? There are some easy answers that come to mind. Lack of portion control? Absolutely. Love of junk food? Sure. Disdain for exercise? Okay. But somehow I don't think that those reasons adequately explain why (at my highest) I was carrying 90 extra pounds on my 5'5 frame.
As I've gotten closer to my more "normal weight"--i.e. the weight I was in high school--I've become more aware of the deep-rooted issues that caused me to become overweight in the first place. After a year of doing Weight Watchers, I have re-learned how to eat healthy (for the most part) and I've developed a better sense of portion control. But at the same time, I've continued to struggle with binges. I am, by definition, an emotional eater (by the way, I truly resent that term. It makes me think of that prissy character from Gone With the Wind, Mrs. Pittypat, who reaches for the smelling salts every time something unexpected happens). I'm not entirely sure what causes me to eat compulsively, but I'm trying to gain a better understanding of the problem.
I met with a therapist the other day, and I explained my problem to her. Her response was interesting. She said, "Nothing happens randomly. People are fairly predictable." Her point was that by thinking my binging was random and could happen at any time, I'm allowing the binges to take away my feelings of control. If instead, I can gain a better understanding of the problem, I might be able to change. I've struggled with this since I was 13-years-old, so I'm not saying it's going to be easy. But it's something I'm going to try to work on.
At some point, I'd like to have a better answer for the "why." I'm curious to hear others' responses...do you know why you struggle with weight issues?