Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Not Sugar-Coated

Lately, I’ve been darting around, trying to latch onto some program—any program—that will help me lose this final 25 pounds. For a day, I’ll decide that Overeaters Anonymous is the way to go. The next, I’ll decide to see a nutritionist. Then, I’ll go back to Weight Watchers. Then, I’ll decide what I really need is a good shrink. And finally, I’ll chuck all of that, pour a stiff drink, and complain about it to my friends, who all assure me that I’m looking great.

Clearly, I need help.

Logically speaking, it doesn’t really matter what plan I choose, as long as I stick with it. No matter what particular plan I choose, all of them will involve eating less and moving more which guarantees (you guessed it) weight loss. But I keep searching, anxiously looking for the perfect plan that will solve all my neuroses, make me feel full 100% of the time, and make me magically thin, without breaking a sweat.

Even in my deranged state, I realize that such a plan doesn’t exist. You have to give me credit for that, at the very least.

You know, during the winter of 2009 (when I was at my heaviest weight), I remember lying in bed, imagining scenarios where I could magically become thin. I imagined my parents sending me to a year-long fat camp, where all I’d do was focus on losing weight and getting active. I imagined living in a place where my food and activity was out of my control, where I’d get thin no matter what, because I didn’t have a choice in the matter. I imagined how I’d emerge from that camp--130 lbs, tanned and fit, a whole new person. Then, everything in my life would be perfect.

Instead of waiting around for my parents to send me to this mythical camp, I joined Weight Watchers and began the process of losing weight and getting into shape. I have to say, while my experience has been a lot less glamorous than my fantasy, there have been a few magical moments. Being mistaken for my adorable, petite sister at Easter. Fitting easily into a size 12 jeans. Being carried by a guy. Wearing high heels without pain.

So, I need to re-learn my lesson from last year: No one is going to send me to fat camp. If I want to lose this weight, I need to do what it takes to get there. That means buying healthy groceries, preparing good meals and sticking to my points. It also means making activity a regular part of my life. It means that making peanut butter cookies and eating the whole batch can’t be a regular Sunday afternoon activity and that a pint of ice cream is not a serving size. Unfortunately, there’s no way to sugar coat this.

Haha, yes, I couldn’t resist the pun.

4 comments:

  1. hahaha! I totally used to wish my parents would send me to fat camp when I was a kid! As far as going from one plan to the next, I used to do the exact same thing. I think sometimes that is ok if it keeps you focused on doing SOMETHING as opposed to nothing. Eventually you'll find something that clicks or you'll hit a good streak and be off and running.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can totally relate to this post Katie. Like you, I seriously considered convincing my parents to send me to fat camp but it never came to fruition. I always wanted the magic solution, to just take a pill and not be hungry or to wake up skinny one day, but as we all know - that's not the way it works. I think it's OK to change your mind about what will work for you, but try to give your new ideas at least a week or two before you switch so you can see if they really work!

    ReplyDelete
  3. 100% agree. I looked for that plan for years, and never found it!

    I've come full circle back to Weight Watchers once again, and have accepted that if I want to lose the last 12 pounds and then keep 85 pounds off forever... that I will have to continue tracking, probably with WW, forever. Just realizing that has been a relief, even if knowing it kind of sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This post speaks to me on so many levels. I can't even tell you how many times I had those same thoughts, those same magical wishes. It's amazing that you know this, though. That it's you who has to do the work. (Wish someone else could do it :) )

    You are wonderful, Katie :)

    ReplyDelete