I've calmed down from seeing the weight gain.
On one hand, I'm actually relieved. For a while I was feeling like I was back to my original weight, and Nathan kept telling me I was crazy. Now, I have proof that I'm still nearly 60 pounds lower from where I started out. So, that's a good thing.
I think Jess' comment was spot-on yesterday. And it really made me feel so much better. Yes, I've gained weight, but there are so many other good things happening in my life. From getting engaged to Nathan to finding a job working for a magazine, I have a lot going for me this spring. And while 183 (ugh) is not a pretty weight, I know that I can still rock a cute pair of jeans and heels.
So now what? The most important thing I need to do is to take life one day at a time. I'm going to focus on eating healthier and getting back into the swing of exercise. I'm going to (try) to choose fresh fruit over ice cream and overall make lighter choices if I can. At the moment, I'm unsure if I want to charge full-on into WW or if I want to continue my pursuit of Intuitive Eating.
On one hand, I'm frightened by how quickly I put back on weight. On the other hand, my weight gain seems to indicate that the way I followed WW is not a real lifestyle change for me.
As uncomfortable as I feel in my clothes, I do not begrudge the pancakes Nathan made me smothered in love and warmth. Or the cheese and crackers with wine we enjoyed, oh so many evenings. Or the ice cream we enjoyed straight out of the container in bed. It's been a terrific winter. And I don't feel bad about the love-filled food I enjoyed.
On the other hand, spring is coming. And I'm sure there are many more healthy ways to enjoy life, such as resuming my thrice-weekly runs, getting back into seasonal fruit, and basically returning to a more balanced diet.
I hope you have a great weekend.