I suffer from a serious problem. I sometimes (I blame the [dyed] blond hair) fail to realize that my actions can lead to unfortunate consequences. In the case of this blog, I've been unbelievably naive.
I type words, I read them over in my head, I click "Post Blog," and I expect that some people might be willing to read through my text-heavy blog. I hope that some readers might be motivated by my story. And by sharing my story with all its rough patches, I hope that I might be able to connect more with others. I see this blog as a sort of Catholic confession (I'm not religious at all), where I wipe away my guilt with the mere act of sharing my failures. I also see this blog as a brag board, where I can share my successes as loudly and triumphantly as I want and no one will call me out for bragging ;)
Naively, I never imagined that when I posted embarrassing/ potentially shameful information on my blog, people would read it and think badly of me. For a while, I assumed that the majority of my blog readers were members of the Weight Watchers community and family members (who I guilted into reading my blog). But I was wrong.
Because blogs are, by definition,public documents, some of my real-life friends and acquaintances caught wind of the blog. And they were less than impressed by my "human foibles." Which, after I found out about it, made me feel...well...uncomfortable. Especially considering that my blog is just a tiny glimpse of who I am as a person.
Some people warned me that the blog made me look bad and that I should immediately delete it. Throw away the evidence, so to speak. For a few weeks, I listened to their advice, made my blog private, and contemplated starting a new, more attractive story of my life. A life without cookie dough binges and Gilmore Girl marathons. A life without depression, anxiety, and fear. In my new fictional blog, I'd write about the amazing dinners I've cooked, describe my latest exercise routine, and gloss over my love life issues.
Now, I realize that the smart and politically correct thing to do would be to kill this blog and start a new, more anonymous blog. But the truth is, I've never been much good at politics or much good with technology (haha--laziness is a factor here). And more importantly, this blog IS a part of my journey towards becoming a healthier, happier Katie, and I'm not about to quit now.
So, the gist of this long post is, I will be writing more posts. I will keep writing this blog (at least) until I reach my goal weight. Thanks for being so patient with me. And thanks for accepting my story, with all of the good and bad. Thank you.