Thursday, May 26, 2011

Guess What...

I weighed in this morning at...drum roll please...167.5.

I really believe that the Weight Watcher God waits until I get so frustrated that I've complained about my plateau to my family, friends, blog readers, random people on the street, and then, just when I have started to garner sympathy, the God decides to spite me with a significant loss.

Not that I'm complaining or anything ;)

Boy, 167.5. I honestly can't remember when I weighed this little. I think it was during my senior year in high school when I went on a crash Subway diet and jogged a mile each morning before school. I'm pretty sure that weight was fleeting though, as I went off to college weighing about 185 pounds.

The last time I was really in the 160s was in the eighth grade. I remember because I was completely horrified. At the time, I thought 160 was obscene. One step below a circus freak. I think that was also the year that I chopped off all my hair, got glasses, and bought my first size D bra. Not a pleasant time for me, let me tell you.

Now, I am back in the 160s, a number I haven't glimpsed in over seven years. It feels terrific--not that far from a normal weight. And yes, you can quote me on that when I complain about not reaching the 150s fast enough ;)

Okay, with that said, I will give you my word: I will put the scale away until next Thursday. I will stop weighing myself mid-week and just wait to see what happens when I weigh in.

And I guess I can't complain anymore that I've hit a plateau =)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Scale Obsessed? Not me.

I know that I should have anticipated this. In the back of my mind, when I first joined Weight Watchers, I fleetingly considered that I'd probably hit a plateau somewhere in my weight loss journey. But I figured by that point, I would have lost so much weight that I'd no longer care how quickly the remainder came off.

I am here to tell you, that is not the case.

When I foolishly imagined how cool I'd be when my weight loss slowed down, I failed to consider the fundamental truths of human existence:

Number 1: We ALWAYS want more. So what that I've lost nearly 70 pounds, I want to lose all 90. Heck, I could even go for an even 100. I want to be thin NOW.

Number 2: It's hard (no, make that downright impossible) to work at something for a long time and not receive positive reinforcement. It's frustrating to count points for an entire week, exercise religiously, pass up on all sorts of delicious treats, and step on the scale and see that you stayed the same. Or even worse, gained. After that happens for a couple of weeks, it's very, very tempting to give up, drive straight to the closest McDonald's and order chicken nuggets, fries, and a large vanilla milkshake.

All this is to say that I am going through a tiny little plateau right now. No big deal at all ;) Remember how I mentioned that I bought an electronic scale? Well, I'm obsessed with it. I weigh myself, my cats (Leo needs to lose a few pounds, by the way), my friends (those who dare to enter my household), my family members. Basically, everyone who enters my house is at risk. I have morphed into this crazy scale-obsessed excuse for a human being. Clearly, I need an intervention. I think some of my friends are planning to steal my scale.

All I can say is, let'em try!

I digress. I am currently hovering around 169.5 and 172. And let me tell you, there's a big difference between those numbers. 169 means that I'm officially in the 160s decade, less than 20 pounds over my healthy BMI weight. Evil 172, on the other hand, means that I've got over 20 pounds to lose and I'm really, really fat.

Well, I may exaggerate a little...

But seriously, I have been in the 170s decade since November. It's time to move on. I'm so sick of the 17 showing up on my scale. So, for the past three weeks, I've worked my butt off, stuck to my points, and what do I have to show for it? Not much, since I started at 173 and last week I weighed in at 173.5.

I am not quite at the McDonald's breaking point. But I'm close. Very close. And a vanilla milkshake sounds pretty good right about now.

But I am going to dig deep and try to have faith in Weight Watchers, in my body, and in the universe that it is possible for Katie to be thin. I know I've never seen it. I know that it's not coming easily. But I have to have faith that my body works like others. If I create a calorie deficit, the weight will come off.

And in the meantime, I'll try to appreciate how far I've come and stop weighing myself three times a day.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Some Photos I Dug Up

So, as I might have mentioned I've been living by myself in Richmond for the past few years. And, as you might guess from the utter lack of photos on this blog, I'm absolutely terrible at bringing a camera/ taking pictures of major events.

So, as a result, there are very few photos documenting my life at age 23-25. But, miraculously, I found a few. If you're interested, here they are:

This was a full length shot that my friend took of me, during the fall of 2009. I assume I was at my peak weight (approx. 240 pounds) here. I like that I'm wearing make-up and dressed nicely here. In fact, a friend saw this photo and wondered why I "let myself go," haha, and stopped doing my hair/ wearing make-up.

This photo was taken during the afternoon, sometime in August of 2010. I was pretty tired that day and rocking the glasses. I felt really skinny when that photo was taken because I had just broken into Onederland.

This photo was taken a few weeks ago at a picnic. Yes, I realized in retrospect that my outfit was a little ill-suited for an afternoon picnic, but oh well. I weighed about 172-173 in that photo. I like how my purse is always falling off my arm, haha.

So, those are a few photos I dug up.

And I'll admit. I've procrastinated a bit on the much-needed updates I need to share. Without further delay, here they are:

1. I got two wisdom teeth pulled out on Thursday. Prior to the extractions, I got an infection, in one of the teeth and I was basically on painkillers from Monday-Sunday. I am so glad that's over with.

2. I've switched back AGAIN to Momentum. What can I tell you I love my wine and fake ice cream sandwiches, haha. I've been fairly good with the plan, and I'm at an all-time low now at around 170 pounds.

3. I've cancelled Weight Watchers (for ONE month) due to financial reasons, but I still attend meetings.

4. I broke down and bought an electronic scale so I'm still doing Thursday morning weigh-ins. (AND I trust my scale now, haha)

I think that's about it for the updates. It's good to be back!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Where Have I Been?

I suffer from a serious problem. I sometimes (I blame the [dyed] blond hair) fail to realize that my actions can lead to unfortunate consequences. In the case of this blog, I've been unbelievably naive.

I type words, I read them over in my head, I click "Post Blog," and I expect that some people might be willing to read through my text-heavy blog. I hope that some readers might be motivated by my story. And by sharing my story with all its rough patches, I hope that I might be able to connect more with others. I see this blog as a sort of Catholic confession (I'm not religious at all), where I wipe away my guilt with the mere act of sharing my failures. I also see this blog as a brag board, where I can share my successes as loudly and triumphantly as I want and no one will call me out for bragging ;)

Naively, I never imagined that when I posted embarrassing/ potentially shameful information on my blog, people would read it and think badly of me. For a while, I assumed that the majority of my blog readers were members of the Weight Watchers community and family members (who I guilted into reading my blog). But I was wrong.

Because blogs are, by definition,public documents, some of my real-life friends and acquaintances caught wind of the blog. And they were less than impressed by my "human foibles." Which, after I found out about it, made me feel...well...uncomfortable. Especially considering that my blog is just a tiny glimpse of who I am as a person.

Some people warned me that the blog made me look bad and that I should immediately delete it. Throw away the evidence, so to speak. For a few weeks, I listened to their advice, made my blog private, and contemplated starting a new, more attractive story of my life. A life without cookie dough binges and Gilmore Girl marathons. A life without depression, anxiety, and fear. In my new fictional blog, I'd write about the amazing dinners I've cooked, describe my latest exercise routine, and gloss over my love life issues.

Now, I realize that the smart and politically correct thing to do would be to kill this blog and start a new, more anonymous blog. But the truth is, I've never been much good at politics or much good with technology (haha--laziness is a factor here). And more importantly, this blog IS a part of my journey towards becoming a healthier, happier Katie, and I'm not about to quit now.

So, the gist of this long post is, I will be writing more posts. I will keep writing this blog (at least) until I reach my goal weight. Thanks for being so patient with me. And thanks for accepting my story, with all of the good and bad. Thank you.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Katie Returns

First off, I want to apologize for being such a sporadic blogger these last few weeks. And I'd like to calm any concerns you might have had. I have not been hibernating in my living room, watching endless episodes of Gilmore Girls and eating raw cookie dough. Nor have I been partying like a maniac, spending my time drinking mojitos rather than writing my healthy lifestyle blog.

The answer is, broadly speaking, I've been busy--guess you never would have guessed that, right ;) What with traveling to my parent's house for Easter (I'm always tempted to say home but that's not home anymore) working harder than usual at my job, spending time with friends, and generally trying to get my life in order, I haven't had much time to write this blog.

And I miss it. I really do.

I'm going to make a strong attempt to post more regular blog entries in the coming weeks, so that you'll know exactly who I'm dating and which television show I'm obsessed with these days ;) And maybe you'll have an inkling of an idea of whether I'm following the Weight Watchers plan, exercising regularly, and generally living healthy--haha...supposedly the point of this blog.

So, without further ado, let me provide some updates. I am following Weight Watchers. In fact, I've done pretty good this week tracking my points. (By the way, can you believe how ridiculously expensive alcohol is? I freaked out when I realized I used nearly 60 points this weekend after going out for two nights.) I am dating. I don't really want to go into the details for fear that one day this guy will read my blog and be horrified by the contents and dump me immediately. Suffice it to say, I'm having a good time. My exercise has been haphazard at best, but yesterday I went for a 1.5 mile jog, which was pretty damn hard but felt great.

Oh, and the biggest news ever, I got myself to do the 30 Day Shred. Twice. I may take back my post about Jillian Michaels. Maybe.

My house is a wreck, with piles of laundry buried in my closet, blocking my shoes. But my pantry is full and I've been enjoying the hell out of strawberries. Strawberries with cottage cheese, strawberries with ice cream, strawberries with English muffins. Strawberries are amazing.

Oh and yeah, I'm writing this post at the library during my lunch break and there's a very loud (and cute!) three year old trying to steal my attention. And oh yeah, I've got three minutes before I have to be back to work.

Sorry for the rushed post! And I'm sorry if I've bored you with all my rambling. You probably didn't need to know about my love for strawberries. But what can I tell you? I've always struggled with over-sharing. Until next time! Bye bye!